Gay Dating and Gay Networking

In a way I totally agree with you. Theres no need for us to have these marches anymore, i can understand in yesteryear when they were fighting for us to be more accepted within in the community more that these marches were relevant but now they just seem to be a way for gay men to do what they would normally do in the house (or in the club) out on the street. By Lexxius at 05/07/2008 02:13:01

I agree with you.. I enjoy the party atmosphere of mardi gras, but i disagree with the whole parade part of it.. It had its place years and decades ago when we where fighting for acceptance, but now we have come into a more liberal world and are accepted, in most cases that is.. We should not be trying to alienate ourselves now and we should be able to intertwine with society without a forcefull approach to make people aware of what we are.. It should be now a party within the gay community, to celebrate our acheivements in acceptance, and not a parade.. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 02:14:07

'Pride' was originally meant to mean the opposite of 'shame'. In the days of the Gay Liberation Front, most straights thought of being gay as shameful. My mum thought that when I told her, so it's probably still a fairly common thought. Maybe 'Gay Pride' should be modernised with the term 'Gay Equality'? Suggest it to the Pride organisers... By Tastylicious at 05/07/2008 02:16:06

I totally agree with you. By Anaphora at 05/07/2008 02:16:57

I also agree that pride is no longer nessasary it just makes gay stereotypes become real, just on the streets. It doesnt make us look equal it makes us look like we want to be different which is quite the opposite of its original message. By Nomis3040 at 05/07/2008 02:22:48

No my ex best friend did that, i try to talk to him but hes now hanging with a totally different crowd and 'my shyness embarrases him'. Oh well A By Lexxius at 05/07/2008 02:29:19

its a strange but true occurance.. So many times been in a club on a friday night and seen and chatted to these so called charecters, and then on the saturday or in the week you bump into them in starbucks and they are as butch as an england rugby player.. But you will notice within a yr or 2 they are out again without the cropped tops and bleached jeans, and gone butch... By ashypops at 05/07/2008 02:31:08

I think we need to aim for acceptance of all types of gay people, no matter how flamboyant. Sometimes that can mean having to be in people's faces - otherwise, it's easy for people to think it's not relevant to their lives, and look away. The more people see something, the more it becomes normalised. And 'normal' tends to be treated as 'acceptable'. Maybe the normal gay boy who becomes outrageous is being himself now, but was controlling himself before? By Tastylicious at 05/07/2008 02:32:58

People go on the scene because they can be more sure that the guy they fancy is gay, and more sure of their safety. And because their are familiar faces. Most straight people never venture and integrate into gay bars. Many people go on Pride marches with banners to campaign for equality or to show there are gays in all walks of life (the Gay Police Association as an example). It's just that it's the flamboyant ones who stand out, so even we get the impression that they dominate marches. By Tastylicious at 05/07/2008 02:42:16

I personally dont like pride atall...really really not me! I just disagree with it totally. By pjas at 05/07/2008 02:42:40

nope i don't like prides at all i try avoid them haha By Bloodoranges at 05/07/2008 02:46:20

Agree 100% By essexboydave at 05/07/2008 02:55:32

I go to Cardiff Mardi Gras, for 2 reasons. 1. its a damn good weekender of a party. 2. all the people I have made friends with over the last 10yrs from being around the "Scene", the majority of them will be there so its a wicked excuse to catch up. Thats it for me, I dont see it as equality march/parade. The whole purpose of these Prides has been bypassed , and therefore they should be bought up to date and just used as a big annual gay party and celebrate our achievements in equality. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 03:03:29

I find all of you guys offensively ignorant of your gay history. Gay men and women fought HARD to get our generation equality with the straights, we are not even there yet, eg. Civil Partnership vs Marriage and the opposition to the human fertilisation and embryology bill that narrowly passed giving greater rights to two women wanting to have a child. I'm non-scene, but I still understand why things like pride are important, to show the world that yes, gay people to exist and we're not ashamed.. bah, ramble over. By marv_man at 05/07/2008 03:06:07

Ive never been, doesnt really appeal to me By djorgensen at 05/07/2008 03:06:55

Also i agree. the name's of these events need to be changed. Cardiff its called mardi gras (well not this year as it is called Pride cos they have different organisers this year) even mardi gras is a little better than pride, although a little camp.. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 03:07:04

Also.. 'Doesn't a yearly pride parade contradict what we are seeking in acceptance. We don't have a straight pride parade?' since we have a predominately black parade (Notting Hill Carnival), should that be canceled now that racism isn't such a big issue? By marv_man at 05/07/2008 03:13:16

Gay history yes, and we are thankful to those who fought hard for the equality we have. But times have changed, and so should these Pride Events. Gone are the days where you used to have to ring a doorbell to gain entry to your local gay bar, and gone are the days where we need to parade on the streets to "Advertise" that we are a little bit tropical. Society has generally accepted us, apart from a few bigots, so I see no need for a parade through the streets. It is only making us more distant from the rest of the population. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 03:13:42

Society hasn't accepted us. Try walking down the road holding hands with another guy and watch all the looks you get. Why are gay teenagers the most likely group do commit suicide? The general public need to be forced to accept us and I think pride is a good method for that. By marv_man at 05/07/2008 03:21:10

never been 2 1 By DN11 at 05/07/2008 03:26:06

good point warren,. The whole Gay society as a whole needs to intergrate more, we have alienated ourselves with our own insecurities about the so called "straight" world.. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 03:33:59

It seems that the consensus of integrating is to sit back and do nothing, because society will bend around us and suddenly being gay will be normal. By marv_man at 05/07/2008 03:40:06

The definition of "normal" being portrayed in this blog and comments is an elitist one, wholly to the detriment of the type of gays you don't like. I respect your opinion, but I think it is bigoted as this blog has attracted "scene queen" haters. By marv_man at 05/07/2008 03:51:25

i am certainly not a scene queen hater, as I would be a contradicting myself as i do go to scene on a regular basis. I am accepted within work, the community, and my friend base as I do not isolate myself from them, the majority of my friends are straight males and everyone in this city practically knows me from my work, and I have never ever been a victim of any kind of hate, and this is a pretty rough city, because I believe it is because I have intergrated. This is my personal view, and experience, and I believe that If every Gay, Bi, TG intergrated more with society they would be as lucky as I have been.. Its just a view.. not an instruction By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:04:36

thats random.. im listening to a george harrison song... while my guitar gently sleeps.. lol By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:17:05

You're lucky ashypops, but for some guys the exclusive gay culture is all they have. You say you go to the scene, yet essentially you argue that the scene shouldn't exist at all, would you be the same person without it? Essentially I agree with you- in a perfect world the scene would be irrelevant, but for now in my opinion while the skin-deepness of gay culture is annoying, the scene is still important along with things like pride. A lot of gay people wouldn't accept any less. I'm pretty tired now so i'm going to go to bed. Goodnight to you and warrenjames. By marv_man at 05/07/2008 04:21:42

i didnt know that,wow, a nice bit of trivia for my fountain of knowledge.. I would have loved to have met him, i always think he was the most grounded Beatle.. Am a massive Beatles Fan. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:23:26

I didnt say that the scene should not exist, it serves a purpose, I say the whole "parading" on the streets in all our tropical glory once a year actually serves no purpose anymore, as these parades where designed and developed with equality in mind, and now we have got the basic rights we have fought for, we should start celebrating these achivements with a party within the scene, and not around on the streets displaying our feathers... Every one has their part to play in making this world more equal. But lets start acting normal about it. By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:28:50

wicked, i would have loved to have met paul McCartney as well, esp when he was with that ex wife of his, so i could have kicked that prosphetic from underneath her... money grabbing pshycho.. lol Sounds like you have met a few interesting people, am jealous.. lol By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:35:10

lol... Right final say... bed time... zz By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:40:05

it just entered part of my message.. damn lads lads. I did put in there. Stop The Parades, Celebrate and intergrate By ashypops at 05/07/2008 04:41:20

I don't mind the pride celebrations, but i have to say, as i am not-so happy in large crowds, i really felt VERY uncomfortable both on the march and at the after march so-called celebration, where, incidentally, i got my wallet and TSB-Lloyds Credit card stolen which really did not make the day any better. By RiddzBoy at 05/07/2008 08:07:13

most people have no idea what this 'celebration' actually stands for, i.e. gays fought the cops in new york city on christopher street in 1969 to be accepted foor what they are and to underline their rights as human beings not to constantly looking over their shoulders knowing they could be arrested for what they were. these days it is a mass gathering for bad drag, screaming queens all over the place, semi naked muscle maries in rediculous skimpy trousers etc etc i believe it is important to show the public we do exist and we are actually not what ordinary people in society think of us, but with this mass hysteria every year and all the over the top exaggeration of 'gay life style' the stereotypes in people's heads are just fulled even more. no wonder they think, all gay men are weak, screaming ponces with no guts, put make-up on and dress as women, no wonder they think every gay guy just wants into another man's pants or seduce little boys. so much is going in a direction that is not going to be comfortable in the long run and no one really seems to bother. By neo at 05/07/2008 08:19:15

I agree with you on the 'Straight Parade' bit. I can understand people saying "Yeah, I'm proud to be gay", and so they should, but I do reckon it can cause even more prejudice towards the gay community. I mean, look at the Gay Pride last year... yes its all about fun and having a good time, but don't you think having groups of people dressed up and skipping around as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and the like is just going to make the people ignorant to gay culture think that what they perceived was in fact right??? Very grey area really... By addy at 05/07/2008 08:24:51

Maybe we have to re-think all of this - many of you never had to fight for your rights - i was one of the young people, whom, in my teens faced 10 years in side for running Britians first gay youth group. Times have changed indeed. I think, as gay people, we all need to re-look at what it is that we want from the society we live in. Pride may be a celebration of our history and journey travelled - not disimilar to achieving the vote for women. But many of you do not know that history and what we are cebrating on Pride. Maybe like Nazi Germany we forget easily, so be it. If we do not wish to celebrate the history and advances, Pride will turn into an ordinary party without cause, that' ok if that's what we want. However, many gay young people still get queer bashed on our streets and in our schools, we cannot have two gay men kissing on prime time TV as its deemed unnaceptabe to the hetros. On a more global level as the worrld becomes smaller we find endless examples of hatred towerds homosexuality. In the city of Mashhad in north-eastern Iran, two gay teens were executed not so long ago. One was 18 and the other is thought to have been 16 or 17. First they were lashed 228 times. Not long after the execution there were howls of outrage from the Iranian parliament - not at the execution itself, but at the temerity of journalists to report it. Yes indeed we can say things have moved on in our country, but if we were fully accpeted i think i would see no need to have gay websites, no need for blogs on here from teenagers asking for help in coming out to parents, no need for us to campign to have simple sex education in schools supporting to include homosexuality as a norm etc etc. I am no longer involved in heavy end of gay political life as i was as a teen. I did it for our future and yours. What i do feel is that the gay community will undoubtably struggle to be "as one" we are all differenrt and all want different things from our lives. My view is let the campaigners among you keep up the good work to help protect our future rights and not let the be erodded. Let the others of us "party" or try and be ordinary citizens in life. But i think we must not ever forget the history of people like David Lemon and many others as to why we can be free to dance, to party, to love, to have the freedom of expression and association with your fellow gays and indeed the rights we all enjoy now. Go party and enjoy the fruits of those ordinary people who only got into campaigning becuase we were not free in those days to do these things. For me i will watch the tennis and go walk along the sea front and and wonder as i often do, if we will ever have a tollernt gay community and society - accepting of us all. Love Steve By stevewestcliff at 05/07/2008 08:43:20

I have to be honest, of all the Gay Pride events that I have seen, I have never really seen much evidence of 'Gay Pride'. It appears to be about dressing up and being loud, and I know a lot of people who take part just because they know that they've got a good chance of getting laid... is this what Gay Pride should really be about??? Shouldn't we be trying to get rid of those ignorant stereotypes towards gay culture? Or how about raising awareness of gay 'heroes', such as Oscar Wilde? If this does take place, I've never seen it, and it appears to have been totally lost amongst what could be described as a 'Gay Carnival', not 'Gay Pride'. By addy at 05/07/2008 09:14:53

I agree with what pride stood for, when we were mistreated like being able to be fired for being gay, paid less, can't marry. But we have that now so I think it's wonderful people campaigned on behalf of all of us those years ago, but I do think it doesn't stand for what it meant to anymore. Nowadays I just feel that like purplesam said, its just an excuse for some just to have a giant piss-up, as not meaning to seem rude but if you looked up a website about gay pride, they wouldn't have a paragraph saying "We raised awareness of our cause for adoption" for example, it would be more like. "Oh my god everyone was so hot and we all got to run around with fairy wings!" Just we don't need a day to ask for acceptance, as we should have the whole year anyway, we don't need gay pride like we used to, and so I kinda don't like it, but then again everyone has their own opinion. So hugs for all! -Hugs- By tearsofavampire at 05/07/2008 09:18:00

steve thanks for that. ashypops come to sheffield with your boyfriend and walk hand in hand down the main street. have an ambulace on stanbye though By rus32 at 05/07/2008 09:42:00

addy - you just given me a great idea for my next photographic website project - a history of gay and lesbian hero's - thanks. That will keep my political side alive ! Tearsforvampires - your experiencs may not be the same as others in more intollerant communities, but i do agree with you that Pride does not celebrate anymore. But if you look on the official Pride Website it does say "Pride London aims to promote equality and diversity through all of its campaigns. The two week Pride festival uses theatre, music, debate, art and entertainment to raise awareness of discrimination and the issues and difficulties affecting the lives of LGBT people around the world. Our Parade is an explosion of Pride in the heart of the capital, attracting over 500,000 people in a celebration of diversity. Through this we aim to promote a sentiment in favour of equality, uniting people in a celebrative atmosphere where all are welcome, and fostering a sense of community within the LGBT population. Overall, Pride London hopes to promote understanding and cooperation, as well as education in diversity, in order to get rid of the discrimination faced by LGBT people". So it appears it is still attempting to work on celebrating and enjoyment. Go have fun all of you, im way to old to walk the streets anymore, i get knackerred going to the shops ! By stevewestcliff at 05/07/2008 09:56:34

rus 32 - wow is Sheffield still a hard old place ! come to westcliff - the essex lads normally let me off with a smack in the mouth at worst and then contact me after saying sorry pal - but if you fancy a blowjob ! Not sure why I tolerate that ? By stevewestcliff at 05/07/2008 10:00:47

Gay pride..is exactly that do not forget WE are still the minority here.Other gay people have fought and fought for this moment,to tell the world we will NOT lay down and let you trample all over us b,cause we are different.. Where do you think the civil rights movement would be now if rosa parks did not give up her seat for a white man on "THAT" bus? The sad truth of the matter is,is that we all crave acceptance whatever gender,we all need loving,whatever gender..and we all need to step up..so we no longer feel stepped on.. By joblow at 05/07/2008 10:12:25

Thanks for the debate Purple - just to lety you know it's flowed over into other gay websites. Its great people care enough and can express their views regardless of whether we all agree ! By stevewestcliff at 05/07/2008 10:37:54

Gays will always be a minority. I don't think celebrating our differences helps the rest of society accept us. We're only human beings and the ONLY difference between is and the straights is our sexual orientation> Lifestyles are down to an indicidual. I do not wear leather or have a handlebar moustache, or cross dress, or feel the need to be led around by a "Master" on a dog leash. So why would I choose to join a march full of people dressed as all these things when they do not represent me. Gay Pride marches used to be about shocking the "Straight" world. Now unfortunately they just seem to be about living up to the stereotype :| By semiprecious at 05/07/2008 10:41:49

i totally agree with u i hate the marches an neva go on em , its like drawing attention 2 ur selfs blowin ur whistles sayin look at me i'm gay, ow many str8 marches do u c where they blow their whistles sayin look at me i'm str8 ? erm i think the answer to that 1 is neva By trainersrfun at 05/07/2008 10:57:36

The fact that we all have our views, some good, some bad, shows that "Pride" is still required. Do not forget the past nor the history that those before you have made. They are heroes who should be remembered with "Pride" for the struggles and sacrifice they made. "Pride" is about our past and our future as a unified group who need equalitiy and human rights. We still do not have these so please, do not discry what you think of "Pride" but think about how "Pride" has helped you as an individual. Without it you would not even have those clubs you love so much! By roboboy at 05/07/2008 10:58:49

can you imagine the gay backlash that would occur if there was a "Straight and proud" march??? There'd be rioting in Topman! lmfao By semiprecious at 05/07/2008 10:59:46

I like it cos I can go into a pub and buy a pint of London Pride. At London Pride. Ho ho ho funny am I. By chromite at 05/07/2008 13:17:00

i agree with you!! By greatprestonlad at 05/07/2008 13:18:56

valid point but they are still a fucking laugh ! By craigaay at 05/07/2008 13:31:30

Yeah I'm "Out and Proud" but I don't feel the need to swagger round Hyde Park in a pair of arseless leather chaps ;) By noosh at 05/07/2008 13:33:13

Purplesam i so agree with you xxx By WoopWoop at 05/07/2008 13:35:34

I really do find the anti-pride views here pretty sickening. They really have no clue of what people did for them just so they wouldn't go to prison for what they were. By maskedshuuyu at 05/07/2008 13:43:02

I couldn't agree with you more!!! Although its nice to have that party/free atmosphere its all a little over the top! I think its throwing it in peoples faces, which if I speak my friends, they dont want. We are accepted as much as we will ever be! I think its all going to go tits as we are pushing for too much! By Ohbabybaby at 05/07/2008 13:50:05

Many of you are right and i guess if homosexuality was outlawed tomorrow you would be there on the front line making your voice heard and supporting your right to "be". Perhaps we can have a HERO day for those who had to fight and worked hard for all our freedoms. Have a great Gay Pride whatever your views. By stevewestcliff at 05/07/2008 13:57:58

totally agree ;) all pride is about now is drugs and alcohol By mrben at 05/07/2008 14:24:03